You are almost a Singaporean when

1. New words have entrenched themselves in your everyday vocabulary: queue, car park, lift, capsicum, petrol, carrier, lah!
2. You find escalators in other countries are too slow
3. You are no longer annoyed by the slow, meandering pace of Singaporeans on Orchard Road
4. Can actually understand Singaporean English over the phone
5. Construction noise is the usual background noise
6. You don’t expect a Singaporean to let you merge into traffic
7. You don’t expect a Singaporean taxi driver to stay in his lane
8. You take it for granted that your luggage beats you to baggage claim
9. You feel safe walking through the streets of Singapore at midnight
10. You think a $5000 per month one-bedroom flat is a bargain
11. You learn how to cool down your red wine by briefly swirling an ice cube
12. You aren’t surprised by footprints on the toilet seat
13. You no longer wonder how teenagers can afford to shop on Orchard Road
14. You believe everything that is printed in the Straits Times
15. You find the autocratic government runs the country better than most democratic governments
16. You can detect a difference between 31 and 29 degrees C
17. You expect to get your medical test results back within 24 hours
18. You realize the United States is not the center of the world
    
19. You make friends that are non-Western
20. You aren’t insulted by buying XL size clothing